Tír na nÓg

It seemed time to write again...you know me, something happens and I feel the need to vent. Well one week from today my world will be turned upside down. Being away from my parents is never easy, but this will be a whole new set of unease. I'm about to become responsible for another human being, responsible for the decisions she makes and the consequences that follow. I know deep down that I needn't worry that she'll be making the "typical" high school mistakes because she's a perfectionist and a good kid...but what about the little things? What about how late she should stay out, or who she's with? What about whether she should take the car to St. Paul or if she should play basketball? Add to that the fact that she's literally not entirely stable and the fact that the littlest things set off her anxiety and I'm a little scared. Plus she and I haven't always been the way we are now, I think me being in Ireland last semester changed a lot of things, this summer has been great for us...but what happens when I become the authority? Does the friendship disappear? Do I become the enemy? Will she even listen to a word I say??

Then there's my grandma. I'm kind of taking over there too. Granted I do a lot for her already so the leap won't be as big, but I don't think my aunts and uncles realize all that my mom and I do for her. She won't be here anymore for me to just say "Oh Mom will take care of that when she comes over tomorrow". And I'll be honest, things with her aren't getting better, she doesn't listen, she doesn't roll with the punches very well, and she doesn't seem very willing to just give things a little time to work themselves out. In this situation that's going to be hard...

Because on top of all this I'm starting at a completely new school. I have to make new friends, start over in a new department, try and stay on top of my homework and tests, make sure I can get to class and take care of two households...and then add on the possibility of me being in a show and/or working??

When I left to go overseas last January I thought that was going to be my biggest adventure, the hardest thing I'd ever done...but next week breaks that mold. I'm scared to death and I'm not sure I'm strong enough for all of this...

Psychoanalyze Yourself.
Fill in your answers and then scroll for the meaning behind it. Don't mess up the fun, do the answers first.

1. You are not alone. You are walking in the woods. Who are you walking with?
Kelly

2. You are walking in the woods. You see an animal. What kind of animal is it?
a deer

3. What interaction takes place between you and the animal?
he looks at me and we watch one another until he slowly walks away

4.You walk deeper in the woods. You enter a clearing and before you is your dream house. What is it like?
huge, white, tons of floor to ceiling windows, 3 floors, wrap around porch

5.Is your dream house surrounded by a fence?
no

6.You enter the house. You walk in to the dining room and see:
light wood floor, huge windows, plants, a big table with at least 7 chairs

7. You exit the house through the back door. Lying in the grass is a cup. What material is the cup made of?
china-white with blue

8.What do you do with the cup?
picked it up

9.You walk to the edge of the property where you find yourself standing at the edge of a body of water. What type of body of water is ?
lake

10. How will you cross the water?
row boat
----------------------------------------------------


What the answers mean:

1. The person who you are walking in the woods with is the most important person in your life.


2. The size of the animal is representative of your perception of the size of your problems in your life.


3. The severity of the interaction you have with the animal is representative of how you deal with your problems.


4.The size of your dream home is representative of the size of your ambition to solve your problems.


5.NO fence is indicative of an open personality. People are welcome at all times. The presence of a fence indicates a close personality. You'd prefer people not drop by unannounced.


6. If your answer did NOT include food, flowers, or people, then you are generally unhappy.


7. the durabililty of the material with the cup is made of is representative of the perceived durability of your relationship with the person you named in #1


8.Your disposition of the cup is representative of your attitude toward person in #1.

9. The size of the body of water is representative of the size of your sexual desire.


10. How wet you get in crossing the water is indicative of the relative importance of your sex life.

Well tonight is my last night in the USA!!!!! I couldn't be more excited!! I'm living my dream!! I will never be one of those people who asks "What if?" This is all I could have ever hoped for...right?? Well I've spent the last 24 hours crying at the drop of a hat, I've freaked out many times, I've convinced myself I couldn't do this and shouldn't go, and I've had to say goodbye to the ones I love. It's been more rough than I thought it would be. I have to keep telling myself that this will be the experience of a lifetime!! This is going to be a blast!! It will all be over way too fast!! Four months may seem like forever right now, but when it comes I won't want to come home!! Leaving is always hard, I'm not as independent as I'd like to think I am. My world revolves around the people in my life. Well this is an adventure and I will try to love every minute of it!!

On a happier note...New Year's Eve was a blast!! I made tons of new friends!! I had heard about all of Kelly's friends from home and seen pictures of them, but this was the first time I'd spent any time with most of them...we had so much fun!! Of course having alcohol, games, and amazing people will make any party great, but I think that this one was one of the best!! Despite spilling drinks, losing people, breaking things, hurting my ankle, no sleep, and losing foosball to Jeff when it was 4 against 1...I'd have to say the night was a great success!! I couldn't be happier with my decision to go. It turned out just the way I wanted...

So with that I say goodbye to everyone!! I will continue to keep you updated and miss you like crazy!! Don't forget me!!

Oh and make a wish ;)

So today I did one of the hardest things I've ever had to do...I walked away from those that I trust the most, those that know me the best, those that I hold dearest...and I won't be seeing them for a very long time. Now I know to some people that may sound a bit extreme, but for me these people are how I survive. I am a very friendly and open person so making friends is not normally a problem for me, but these are the friends you have forever, the ones you invite to parties when you grow up and have a house!! I worry that I will regress back to freshman year when I just sat in my room alone...I can't do that I'll be in Dublin!! Well here goes nothing kids...wish me luck!!


Ok that was my sad rant for the night, good luck on the rest of your finals and as always Have A Merry Christmas and A Wonderful Holidays!!

So I thought I'd repost my last entry from my other blog as well!! hehe

Well a lot has happened in the last few months. I've had some really really low moments but I've also had some extremely high moments, such as finding out that...I'm going to Ireland for spring semester!!!!!!!!!!! I leave on January 3rd and return on April 28th! I'm really really excited about it, but of course being me I'm also really scared. I know that I will have the time of my life and that I will be too busy and excited to miss people, but at the same time I keep thinking about how much I depend on and rely on others. I have known for awhile now that is basically no way I could ever live alone, and that's essentially what I'll be doing. I will be without family and friends and I will be thrown into a city and life that I am not accustomed to. Lucky for me I know people in Dublin and will have people watching out for me. I think one of the hardest parts will be missing my family, they are my world and this semester especially has been one full of the need for that family support. I also will miss my roomies. They are my rocks and my shoulders to cry on, without them I'm afraid I'll be lost. It's a good thing Kelly will only be a quick jump across the pond away in London. This is a new beginning for me, a chance to get away from everything here and start fresh. This will be an opportunity for me to experience what I always hoped my future would be. I will miss Wisconsin, but I know Ireland will be wonderful.

Nothing else is really going on in my life right now!! Congratulations to all of you who are doing well and have had wonderful years! Have a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year!! Live your life because you never know when you'll have to say goodbye!!

Well kids I finally broke down and joined the livejournal cult!! Perhaps this will encourage me to continue to update it!! (yeah right) I figured this would be a good way to keep in touch with people when I leave for Ireland!! Hope all is well out there in the big world!!